Ok, I wasn't planning on doing this tonight since again I find myself getting home at 2:15, but this time it was by my choice to go to Ram's, I had to counsel Nick, and I know some of you look forward to this first thing in the morning, so here we go...
In the first game of the night, we were provided with the upset of the year to this point as Samer and Co. came through on his guarentee, and in the process he threw Danny's sh!t so far the ball became MIA. Also, my preseason prediction was coming to life, as Nolan reverted back to his 74 shot, 6% fg shooting "I scored 30, who cares that we lost" ways while the rest of his team stood around and watched. Samer's team did not escape without a near heart attack by John B. as he watched big brother Trevor throw up some sh!t that nobody in the gym could seem to come up with a rational excuse for, including Trevor, I hope John didnt spank him too bad or make him sit in the corner too long when they got home, b/c that boy was P!SSED!!! Anyhow, Samer's team won
In the second game of the night, the last winless team finally got a stat that mattered, a W. However, this one sure was not without a struggle, as Alex's squad just kept finding some dumb ass ways to try and blow the game, I think it's a disease called the Karrumi. Nate, PROTECT THE LEAD and USE YOUR DRIVE TO CREATE PASSES!!! Anyhow, congratulations to Zeke on his first victory in the C.A.L, as he showed signs of recovering from that pu$$y injury he suffered a couple weeks ago, I think the tampon, I mean Icy hot patch he put on tonight helped. The story of the game was not Alex's first win, but more so the discombombulated empty barrels. In what has become a poor excuse for a basketball player, Nick found himself zoned out by the players he actually drafted, he is on his way to becoming the first captain in history to get traded or maybe even released, I think there is a termination clause in his contract. If ever there was a time to start jacking off Nick, this is it. To his credit though, it really is not his fault, as Dave missed more layups than I miss free throws and Nouri wouldn't have gotten called for a three second violation for his cumulative time in the paint throughout the game, and Kieth, I mean Ameel decided to become a three point threat, and he did, nice total three points Ameel. The least you a$$holes could have done was cover the 6 points Ray gave me in our Outback bet that I am going to stiff him on...
And in the final performance of the night, The Kings reaffirmed their royal dominance over the league. Fadi was a monster on the block and on the perimeter, Jimmy manned the middle and Elton LOCKED DOWN KIETH, Mike gave the usual A+ hustle in locking up Jalal and Clint (except for when that jerkoff hit a three in my face b/c I have retired from playing defense), Nape was great again in picking up for me at the defensive end while still pouring it on at the offensive end, and I just kinda watched the rest of the team play defense while I got a few layups on offense, if the offensive disease going around is the Karrumi, I think I caught the terminal defensive sickness call the Ammori, as in Nick, from playing with him last season. Aside from Tameem, Kieth's team was pretty boring to play against. Kieth did his thing and jacked up threes from Afganistan, Ray tried to be like Kieth on some occasions plus got a rebound here and there, Jalal brought the ball up court, Steve talked junk to Fadi about a jump shot that didnt even end up going in, nice shot steve, Clint busted me with a three but did little else, and Tameem had a respectable game
Damn this Sh!t took long, can I get on the CAL pay roll, especially since the captains dont pay and there are no expenses, and we dont get new jerseys, j/k j/k, but on a good note, it was nice to have refs, they did a great job and I would like to have them every game
JOEY GREAT F***ING JOB...ESPN all day...if you don't mind I'm going to start copy/pasting your highlights into the highlights section of the site with your name next to it, and I'll add like a box score section, that should work out fine...this is how I feel when I read the highlights~~> anyway, that's enough complimenting, I figure I have to give you something for your contribution...maybe head from Nick? On a side note...Nick seriously, I know I'm not one to talk about offensive production (I know what you're thinking f*** u I hate all you guys), but seriously bro...no no seriously, what's the deal? That's not like you at all. I don't know, just voicing my concern. In the mean time, JUST KEEP SUCKING!!! That's actually my favorite line.
I'm going to toss in a league update:
LEAGUE UPDATE:
REFS:
I liked the refs, even though they missed some calls, and say I put my shoulder down, WHATEVER DUDE! So we're inviting them back b/c they got a good rating from most of the players I spoke with except for NODO. If anyone has some major concerns please voice them now.
STATS:
If they're not up by tonight, I'll have them by Saturday morning/afternoon.
SHOES:
If you wear red shoes you will have mandatory harrassment directed towards you.
HATS OFF TO THE KINGS OF THE COURT. ACTUALLY, TO EVERYONE EXCEPT ELTON. I'M NOT BEING A POOR SPORT. I JUST CAN'T GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS NOT DUE. IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, ELTON, THOSE ELBOWS ARE GONNA GET U IN TROUBLE ONE DAY. DON'T TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY, CAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE A LITTLE CUKU UPSTAIRS. THAT'S NOT A THREAT BY ME OR ANYTHING. I'M JUST SAYING THAT ONE DAY, SOMEONE WILL BE HAVING A BAD DAY, OR A BAD GAME, AND THEY'RE GOING TO RETALIATE. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU DON'T REALIZE IT OR WHAT, BUT THAT'S NOT BASKETBALL. THAT'S JUST DIRTY. EVERYONE KNOWS YOU, BUT YOU. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU INTEND ON DOING IT, OR IF IT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT COMES NATURAL, BUT IT'S VERY OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE ELSE. IF YOU DONT HAVE POST MOVES, STAY OUTSIDE. IF YOU CAN'T PRODUCE OUTSIDE, GO BACK TO ROLLING UP YOUR SLEAVES AND SOUNDING LIKE A DYING HORSE ON THE SIDELINES.
Me, dirty? I never really thought of that...if I got you with my elbows, I don't apologize, you probably deserved it anyway...how about this...let's make a deal, I won't elbow you if you won't grab on my jersey like a little girly man. Deal? Ok bet...Besides, it's down low play, if you can't handle it, don't play down low...that's how I see it, if my elbows swing, don't stand in their way...same goes for jr...you seemed mad when you were guarding me yesterday, what was the problem?
I THINK IF THERE'S ONE KNOCK ON MY GAME, IT'S NOT THAT I CAN'T HANG DOWN LOW. HOLDING, GRABBING JERSEYS, SHOVING A GUY A LITTLE BIT FOR A REBOUND, EVEN A LITTLE ELBOW NUDGE, I'M GUILTY FOR ALL THAT, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO BE INJURING ANYONE ANYTIME SOON. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. YOUR ELBOWS ARE OUT OF CONTROL. I'M NOT ASKING FOR AN APOLOGY. I'M JUST GIVING YOU INFORMATION THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW. LATER ON, YOU CANNOT SAY THAT NO ONE WARNED YOU. I'M NOT HERE TO GET HURT. I'M HERE TO HAVE FUN. MY NOSE IS WORTH MORE THAN YOUR EDUCATION, AND I'M NOT GONNA CHANCE MESSIN IT UP, CAUSE YOUR ASS DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU GET THE BALL. JUST REMEMBER, I GOT ELBOWS TOO, AND AS OFTEN AS YOU SWING BOTH WAYS, I CAN MY ELBOWS.
You swing both ways? Hmm, interesting, that explains the red shoes and matching panties...listen Ray, to the best of my knowledge...I don't think I swing them, maybe hustle for a board, or to clear out on the defensive rebound...but as far as hitting your precious poca, they wouldn't be up that high...and if I got you in the face, my bad...but don't get your panties in a bunch, I got bumped too, got one in the lip...besides, you know I'm not trying to hurt anyone when I play, especially not my boys, at least not physically anyway.
I agree with you Ray, Elton is very dirty down low, he puts his shoulder down like he is playing football. Again ge sat me on the f*cking bench making me look like a fool, but I'm not mad.
Tameem you played well and I told you that you can be very dominant. We should have jamed the middle so you couldnt penetrate.
RAY you would have been more effective if Coach D*ck Train didnt play like a chicken with its head cut off!
ELTON, I HATE U, WE'RE NOT BOYS. I COULDN'T PICK UP CHICS IN CANADA CAUSE I WAS WITH U. EVEN THE LADY AT THE BORDER WAS LAUGHING AT US. BESIDES, WHAT'S UP WITH BENCHING THE REIGNING MVP. FOR A VETERAN COACH, THAT'S NOT A VERY VETERAN MOVE, AND IT SHOWS A DEFINATE LACK OF RESPECT TO A PLAYER WHO'S CLEARLY THE REASON YOU'RE 4-0, WITHOUT USING ELBOWS.
Are you kidding me. Fadi, you really didn't get benched again did you? That is about as stupid as me shooting only 4 times yesterday. Why draft the league MVP when you're not going start him. HHHHMMMMMMMMM it might be because you don't want to face him.
Hey boultawatha...I didn't even guard Ray...YOU DID!!! didn't he bust a three all over your face????? BUKAKE!!! know what bukake is? I think it was all the love you were giving him down low, that's why he wasn't complaining. I like to play rough and he gets all defensive, FINE RAY!!! See if I ever give you an elbow ever again!
By the way Ray, you not being able to pick up chicks in canada or the lady at the border laughing at us has nothing to do with me..I told you, "Ray, don't wear that blouse bro, I don't think it looks right, get a clue"..."E, don't sweat it, I'm fashionable, besides, it brings out the color of my eyes" Do what makes you happy Ray.
As much as I agree with that comment, I can't take credit for it.
NOTE TO COUNTERFEITER:
If you're going to try to duplicate my post, at least get the characteristics of my typing down. I always use "EJ" in caps not "Ej"...better luck next time boulty...if I could guess I'd say it was Ray that typed it...if I had a second guess it would be Fadi. What do you think?
Listen "Phil" leave your comments for your book. I will tell you again STOP TALKING ****!
It seems to me that we get along on the court, but you have a big ego trip off the court. Ya might have power to bench me but thats it. Big deal, so I sit ,i'm not going to be a sore loser and tank a game or not come in. I think you will bench me next week to, As long as your the commissioner of licking nut sacks you will continue to bench me a display your STEINBRENER presense. I just look at the clock a wait for you to put me in the game, whether it be 2min or 10min its all good.
ps: Tony, I already know why he drafted me!
and way to show respect good choice of words (Bukake) by the alasas commish way to show class. You talk about Tony not showing respect!
No, the THB's aren't going to trade Nick....unless, of course, Thomas is planning a trip back from Iowa...j/k!. The team just needs to find balance on offense and start moving the ball around. We were successful with Nate b/c we had an offensive game plan and we stuck to it. Yesterday, we stuck to a game plan in the first half but completely fell apart in the second half. And me tossin up bricks and a few airballs doesen't help!!!!! So the oweness isn't on Nick, it's on THOMAS TO GET BACK FROM IOWA.
1/2 Barrells will gameplan for next week and will come out strong. So take notice Swammy and adjust your spread accordingly. We'll be the upset special
Twice/week is cool, E. How about Tuesdays and Thursdays? I know I need it. Would that shorten each session by half? I guess that wouldn't be so bad. Perhaps players would enjoy playing with a new squad every Month-and-a-half. Conversely, players may resist this because they want to build team chemistry. Also, we need to resolve the sub issue. The message boards are not the way to do it. The commission should get together before next session and create something that's more fair.
When we developed the subbing system wetried to make it as fair as we could by trying fill a replacement with someone of equal talent. Obviously nothing is going to be exactly equal, but that is balance by whether or not the opposing captain accepts the sub.
anyway, that's enough complimenting, I figure I have to give you something for your contribution...maybe head from Nick? On a side note...Nick seriously, I know I'm not one to talk about offensive production (I know what you're thinking f*** u I hate all you guys), but seriously bro...no no seriously, what's the deal? That's not like you at all. I don't know, just voicing my concern. In the mean time, JUST KEEP SUCKING!!! That's actually my favorite line. 
..."E, don't sweat it, I'm fashionable, besides, it brings out the color of my eyes" Do what makes you happy Ray.
, but you really aren't saying much. DON'T GET BENCHED!!! 
