Due to the numerous rumors floating around I feel obliged to give you the following information and set the record straight. As standing commissioner and ruler of the free world, I regret to inform you that the Chaldean Athletic League has been sold. Due to the high exposure and relentless attempts and offers by interested organizations, we have finally reached an agreement to sell. More details are available within the agreement itself. Throughout the document C.A.L. will be referred to as "The League", and the purchasing organization will be referred to as "The Purchaser".
The agreement is as follows:
As of January 1st, 2005, The Chaldean Athletic League agrees to turn ownership rights and player contracts over to the NAACP for the negotiated price of $1.5 million and a lifetime supply of food from Popeye's chicken on 8 Mile Rd and Schaefer in Detroit, MI. At this point The League will no longer be referred to as C.A.L. due to the name change at The Purchaser's request. The League will now be referred to as the Abeed Athletic League, aka the A.A.L. However, the A.A.L. is offering some criteria to allow for select former C.A.L. members to join The League. The requirements are as follow:
-You have to be an abid (you know who you are, ahem MVP)
-You have to roll in an escalade on nothing less than 22's
-You have to shoot 40 times in a single game
-You have to be a dentist to help them keep their teeth clean so we can see them in the dark.
-You have to crack your boy's windshield so you can rape their insurance company.
-You have to be the spitting image of E. Honda.
-You have to squeel like a girl everytime someone fouls you.
-You have to be able to hit three's from Africa, the Motherland
-The league has to have a fifth round, any recommendations?
Last but not least,
-You have to have enough time to sit here and actually think of all this bullsh!t!
Any questions can be directed to the new commissioner, Tyrone Johnson...he can be reached at 313-ain-no-ho
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