here you go you little hoes, the predictions you have all been waiting for

Samer's Team:  Well, I guess on the one thing that this team will be able to provide us with is the answer to the question of last season, was it really Tony J who destroyed that team or Kieth???  One thing that will not be answered is the question of just how bad Samer is, as we will once again witness why the only reason he is in the league is b/c he is a captain.   The over under on which game Ernest drops his head for the remainder of the season and pouts like a little puppy dog after KIETH yells AT HIM for shooting too much is half time of game two.  I personally take the under.  Fortunately, they do have a proven winner in Senan, but can he really turn this group into winners?  aside from the whole Kieth shoots from outside of Ray Allen's range, Ernest is not a point guard but not a shooting guard either, and Samer sucks problems, he has make Dave and Mars look like basketball players.  I will be impressed if he just gets Mars to realize we are playing basketball at all.  Odds on Winning:  10-1

Special Prop Bet for this Team:  O/U on a player not named Kieth or Ernest averaging 4 FG attempts per game-  1.  I take the under

Elton's Team-  The D is going to be ridiculous on this squad (assuming Tony A. manages to cover his man and Nouris while Nouri is cherry picking).  Can Fadi and Elton co exist like the season they won it or will they revert to the two that bicker like George and Weezie?  Tony A. is in the midst of another spectacular indoor CFL season, but will his entire mindset approach insanity after he experiences another football playoff bust?  Trevor is too sensitive, so I wont say anything about him (besides, I'll talk about John enough below and I am sure to get a response from Trevor for that), except that I cant wait til him and Tony get technicals for fighting with each other.  Joey Q, welcome back, you have big shoes to fill in replacing Nabe. Odds to win it all:  8-5 (I think they may be the favorites)   

Special Prop Bet for this Team:  If Fadi kicks John B., Trevor will defend Fadi-  1 million to 1

Alex's Team-  Nathan will continue to average his 17 points per game on 36 shot attempts and Alex will still concede that he is the best player in the league for some odd reason.  However, what he failed to realize is that other than me, the biggest loser in this league (literally) is Derek D aka big softy aka softy international aka the big Charmin.  This team automatically loses odds for having him.  Other than Nick's pussy cat meows, we will all get to finally watch the second best regular in game comment of "fuc$" that comes from Alex in anticipation of his shot clanking off the rim or catching nothing but air (even though he has not really shot yet).  Derek P. is crazy, so I will let Ray make him mad.  Calvin is a good guy, so I will also leave him alone.  Jeff Najor will remain the least covered player in CAL.                             Odds on Winning it all- 7.5-1

Special Prop Bet for this Team:  Alex’s O/U avg on “Fu$ks per game.  2.5 (assuming he averages 2 shots a game despite Nate and DD obsession with shooting)

Emil’s Team:  Probably the most entertaining team to watch.  I must say, the pick up of Fadi E. was a great move for them, b/c b/t Ernest, John B., and Nick they would have needed 6 basketballs to play with to keep them all happy.  However, with the trade they only need 4.5 between John and Nick.  In Fadi, for as gay as he might be, they do get a team player who plays defense and scores when he has to.  I also look forward to Emil going 0-22 from 3 in the first 4 games before making #23 and saying “I am feeling it, keep giving me the rock.”  It will also be interesting to see John B. try to score at least 20+ a game in an attempt to show the other captains they made a mistake by passing him up IN THE FIRST AND SECOND ROUND (john, apparently you aint as fresh as you think).  However, he will fail miserably and just piss Nick off b/c he will take away from Nick’s shots.  Another easily predictable outcome is that Nick will use Brian McKay as his defensive horse and make him cover the entire top of the key in a 1-3 zone while Nick just hangs out at the offensive end the entire game.  And Dani will prove to all of us why he will be the first player in league history to get “bust of the year” tagging after being drafted in the 6th round.  Odds on this Team winning it all:  9-1 (4-1 if Nick figures out a way to keep JB happy w/out sacrificing his own MVP 37 game)

Special Prop Bet for this Team:  hard to choose just one on this team.  Lets just go w/ the good old, easy O/U on John B’s FG attempts per game:  63

Yon’s Team:  Outside of Nolan and Zane, this team is complete garbage.  Not much more needs to be said other than that but I am writing this as I sit in my constitutional law class so I feel obligated not to discriminate.  So seriously Yones, did the other captains just give you 2 first round picks and 3 4th round picks or something?  Nolan is great, but I don’t know that his back can carry this kind of load, and I think Zane is great and Tayshuan-Long, but damn, can he really cover 4 guys?  Jeff O will continue to lead the league in fouls and Jimmy will continue to be the softest big man this side of Jeter.  And Clint, well, lets just hope the time off made him forget about the computer like he has forgotten that it is not illegal to enter the paint.  And finally Yones, your terrible.  Odds this team wins it all:  15-1

Prop bet for this team:  Nolan O/U on PPG:  27!!!!  (and I mean that seriously, b/c him or Zane is going to have to do that for this team to have any chance)

Reiman’s team:  Finally, my team.  In his season finale before mandatory retirement, Zeke is out to prove that he really is ONLY 30 and that immigration did not just give him the benefit of the doubt on his Visa 37 years ago.  Tony is out to prove that he is not the most hated player in CAL history, no wait we all know he is, Ok, he is out to prove he can be a part of a winning team and not ruin all chemistry and possibility of success (there is a good possibility he may fail).  Ray is out to prove that he is not the dumbest man alive for 1) redrafting this team and 2) potentially sacrificing “half” in the prime of his life, what a retard, congratulations Eva.  I am out to prove that I can win it all, make free throws, and shoot 3’s and I had Ray draft Abuna Mike to insure that God would be on my side in doing so.  And Ziad is my favorite teammate of all time, but I feel sorry for him being on this team of dysfunctional motha****ers, but I am glad Dani is no longer my problem to deal with b/c he is awful.  Odds to win it all:  if we play as a team 4-1, if we play like we genuinely hate each other 12-1.

Special Prop Bet:  so many to choose from but I will give you multiple on me alone just to show this is all in fun and games

O/U on FT% for the season:  6

O/U on 3’s I make all season:  3

Chances of a team with me and Tony winning it all:  A million to 1.  On which I would like to bet my whole life on, b/c La Familia is back b*tches, so get ready b/c we aint ****ing around this season, and more importantly, we don’t have Dani.